All Deep Feeling for be a Secret Admirers

"Do you love him?" they asked me. "No," I answered.
I always say no to that kind of question.

But I find pages of my books are full of the poem about you. I got myself think about you in the middle of a love song. I smile when your name pops up on my phone screen. I can feel butterflies burst out of my stomach as we spend time together. I didn't find your jokes funny but I was happy to see you laugh. I get anxious when I see your face tired, wondering what has happened to you. I feel something cracked inside knowing you treat someone better than the way you treat me.

I should have walked away as I realize that you treat me as a choice and you take me for granted. I should've grown myself apart from you since you never come to hold me during my bad times. I should've known that you might not give a glance at me because you're busy with your perfect life, or worst, you're busy falling in love with her. I should've stopped as I see your heart blooms for someone else.

I have that choice, to stay or to run. But in spite of all those sinking feelings, I choose to stay.

But now, I just want to run. As far as I can go.