Documentary: ELLE Interviewed Kwon Jiyong for His New Solo Album ACT III MOTTE
Everyone must be have favorite artists or musicians. So do I. I love Kwon Ji Yong (has known as GD) since I was in middle high school until now. And there were several conversation about his interview with ELLE about his new album and his personal life separated on SNS. And I just want to re-write about what he talked for everyone who know or who want to know more about him through his new album.
ELLE : This album is a bit like a diary, with many parts that reflect your life. What made you have this change of heart?
GD: I'm only doing what I was supposed to do. I'm about to enlist since I'm 30 years old. In many ways, it's now the most important period of my life so I thought, rather than mindlessly chasing trends, why not treat this album like it's my last and I can show everyone the most authentic side of me. It's like when I'm in my mother's womb when I was born. This is also why my world tour is called MOTTE. I used to like creating new single words for my albums, like Crayon but this time I wanted to show everyone a non-edited version of myself. It's a big risk trying this out & I originally thought of naming this album as '30'.
ELLE: It doesn't matter to who but speaking up about the most inner & hidden part of your personal life is not easy not to mention it's to the general public. The pressure must be unimaginable.
GD: It's like doing this interview right now. I feel that I need to say some more but since the details are too private and personal, so it's hard to decide where I should begin. I can talk a lot as GD but as Kwon Jiyong, there is this feeling where I'm uncertain. It feels that I am naked in front of everyone.
ELLE: Please tell us what is so charming about Kwon Jiyong?
GD: GD & Kwon Jiyong have lived in this (entertainment) circle for a long time. The two of them are lively and cheerful wherever they go & will not get discouraged. However, GD's aura is strong. Kwon Jiyong is like the person you see on variety shows; a bit shy, a bit introverted. But, if you ask him to do something, he will do it. He want to do his best. That's the primary characteristic of Kwon Jiyong. In the other hand, GD is a person that will automatically show his strength in character even if you don't ask him to do anything. He is a leader on stage; always standing in the front, unconsciously developing as a strong individual. But Kwon Jiyong will want to rely on those close to him - family, friends or girlfriend. Kwon Jiyong is not afraid to show his delicate side, possessing a laid back attitude that GD cannot have & subconsciously searching for a source to rely on while off stage.
ELLE: What does Kwon Jiyong do that makes him the most excited?
GD: excited? Hm... truthfully, I don't want to be excited at all because I quite enjoy the feeling of misery & sudden bursts of unhappiness. Sometimes when the emptiness feeling hits, it surprisingly makes me feel warm. It's because it doesn't matter which feeling it is, it's one that I treasure the most at the moment. I don't try and overcome it or avoid it but I try my best to accept it. I will be sad when it's time to be sad and I'll be excited when it's time for that. Anyone will have their moments of sadness and happiness. I don't think I am any more special.
ELLE: Is this Kwon Jiyong person happy nowadays?
GD: Being happy in life is a relative thing. It depends on where you put the standard. When everyone says that I look happy, as a matter of fact I don't know which impression I showed that makes people say that. If it's my close friends, they should know that besides showing my happy appearance in public, I also experience loneliness, emptiness & things I worry about at the same time. As such, it probably doesn't seem like I am that happy. Simply put, I think that while I may look happy, but at the same time it means that I have lost a lot of things. It seems that I live my life better than others, I receive a lot of love from everyone, my work is stable but I have lost far more than I have. There is a lot of happiness but there is also a lot of sadness and loneliness too. It is hard to judge whether I am happy or not from the surface because there has been no need to disclose my sad to everyone. No good would come from it by showing that and I didn't want anyone to know since it's too personal.
ELLE : You only have one body but you finished so many things at the same time. Where do you get your never-ending energy from?
GD: Probably because I'm very persistent in things I do!
ELLE: Have you always been like that?
GD: I've recently discovered a side of myself that I had never known. I'm originally quite optimistic and positive. Even if I'm too tired and even if the result is not as satisfactory, I would tell myself 'don't worry. You can do better next time!' and than I would pass. Perhaps it's because I hate being serious; I like being able to do things like a free soul. This is the same as music... I guess you could say that I'm very confident about it! I've always firmly believe that I definitely can do it; but that was GD's era. As his name implies, GD is magnificent. People don't expect GD to do things in a limited environment so there was no burden no matter what he did - he can do whatever he want and everyone will like that and accept that kind of GD. However, the real Kwon Jiyong is an introvert. He doesn't know how to think so much and he is very different on and off stage. This is the first time where I appear as Kwon Jiyong to everyone... I believe a lot of people have discovered that the contrast between GD and Kwon Jiyong is immense.
ELLE: After finishing so many things - your solo album, peaceminusone, the first concert in Seoul from your solo tour & the cover photoshoot of ELLE... Have you felt that your mood has relaxed a lot?
GD: After the release of the album, people around me said they felt relieved. But to me, it was like showing a product that I had prepared for a long time to everyone. Things have just begun; my solo world tour has just started - it's an extension of my album. It's not only one single show but it will start again this week! The purpose of this album is to allow everyone to see Kwon Jiyong & not GD, so the pressure is extra heavy.
ELLE: Out of everything that you own, what is something you don't want to lose even as time passes by?
GD: Innocence. You can say that it's my everything. Many of my expressions or creativity are based on it. You can see that innocence is lost and people edge to a certain side from the clothes they wear to the songs they write. However, I don't find them to be content. To be honest, if at this moment you were to ask whether I was happy or not, I cannot truthfully give you an answer and say that I am. But I can say that at least I am very pure.
ELLE: In the new album, there's a song called Outro. The lyrics - "I'm only 30 years old. Is it weird? is it normal?" Is this to express how dissatisfied you are becoming on adult?
GD: I think that artists, especially musicians cannot fully understand things. There's a strong feeling towards this, but I worry that I'm stuck in the 'seems I understand to not understanding to maybe understanding a bit' phase. Up until last year, I still had a simple idea that 'as long as I do well, everything will be okay' though. I could easily accept anything although of course, it meant that I was happy doing my work. But as we reached this year (t/n: he means 2017 because the interview was conducted after his solo concert in Seoul but it wasn't published until Jan 5, 2018), Things to worry about increased and I was so busy that I had no free time and my energy decreased. Back then, it didn't matter how tired I was, my body would automatically wake up like a reflex movement when I heard music. But nowadays, even if I heard music, my body would not bounce up like before. That's when I realized I would be unhappy if one day I was unable to do the things that I liked. What's the point of working so hard until now? I never thought I would worry about these kind of things and so I suddenly became aware that I had to recharge. I stay at home when there are no schedules. I also don't go out and play. Although that may not indicate that i am more sensible, but worrying about things that I had never thought about before is definitely different.
ELLE: Assume that you can predict everything you've experienced so far and then allow you to go back to your past to choose your life again. How would you choose?
GD: If I could predict my future, I would definitely live my life to the fullest. I will allow the original outcome to be better and I will avoid the bad things in life. That would be more simple. On the other hand, not knowing what the future holds is more unsettling! I've seen and heard too many things since the beginning of my mid-20s, so it doesn't make me fuss over the usual matters. If I had to experience something that someone my age experienced, I think my level of concern would be lower than them. To be honest, when I made this solo album, there was a time where I felt trapped. I felt a closeness to the phrase of whether 'was this a dream or a reality'. It was like a movie 'The Truman Show'. I believe this applies to both celebrities and regular people - when there are some things in life where we wonder, 'is this a dream?' or 'how is this possible?' At one point of time, I didn't want to express that kind of feeling in my solo album... but to me, this album is the greatest present to myself. As I said before, when it's time I take another look at this album, I'll think about all the creations I made when I was 30 years old. I made a mark at a point in my life. I hope the main character of this story is not GD but Kwon Jiyong, because it is the first time and I really don't know whether it may be the last time to expose my real character like this. So, I would like to introduce myself for the very first time as Kwon Jiyong.
ELLE : This album is a bit like a diary, with many parts that reflect your life. What made you have this change of heart?
GD: I'm only doing what I was supposed to do. I'm about to enlist since I'm 30 years old. In many ways, it's now the most important period of my life so I thought, rather than mindlessly chasing trends, why not treat this album like it's my last and I can show everyone the most authentic side of me. It's like when I'm in my mother's womb when I was born. This is also why my world tour is called MOTTE. I used to like creating new single words for my albums, like Crayon but this time I wanted to show everyone a non-edited version of myself. It's a big risk trying this out & I originally thought of naming this album as '30'.
ELLE: It doesn't matter to who but speaking up about the most inner & hidden part of your personal life is not easy not to mention it's to the general public. The pressure must be unimaginable.
GD: It's like doing this interview right now. I feel that I need to say some more but since the details are too private and personal, so it's hard to decide where I should begin. I can talk a lot as GD but as Kwon Jiyong, there is this feeling where I'm uncertain. It feels that I am naked in front of everyone.
ELLE: Please tell us what is so charming about Kwon Jiyong?
GD: GD & Kwon Jiyong have lived in this (entertainment) circle for a long time. The two of them are lively and cheerful wherever they go & will not get discouraged. However, GD's aura is strong. Kwon Jiyong is like the person you see on variety shows; a bit shy, a bit introverted. But, if you ask him to do something, he will do it. He want to do his best. That's the primary characteristic of Kwon Jiyong. In the other hand, GD is a person that will automatically show his strength in character even if you don't ask him to do anything. He is a leader on stage; always standing in the front, unconsciously developing as a strong individual. But Kwon Jiyong will want to rely on those close to him - family, friends or girlfriend. Kwon Jiyong is not afraid to show his delicate side, possessing a laid back attitude that GD cannot have & subconsciously searching for a source to rely on while off stage.
ELLE: What does Kwon Jiyong do that makes him the most excited?
GD: excited? Hm... truthfully, I don't want to be excited at all because I quite enjoy the feeling of misery & sudden bursts of unhappiness. Sometimes when the emptiness feeling hits, it surprisingly makes me feel warm. It's because it doesn't matter which feeling it is, it's one that I treasure the most at the moment. I don't try and overcome it or avoid it but I try my best to accept it. I will be sad when it's time to be sad and I'll be excited when it's time for that. Anyone will have their moments of sadness and happiness. I don't think I am any more special.
ELLE: Is this Kwon Jiyong person happy nowadays?
GD: Being happy in life is a relative thing. It depends on where you put the standard. When everyone says that I look happy, as a matter of fact I don't know which impression I showed that makes people say that. If it's my close friends, they should know that besides showing my happy appearance in public, I also experience loneliness, emptiness & things I worry about at the same time. As such, it probably doesn't seem like I am that happy. Simply put, I think that while I may look happy, but at the same time it means that I have lost a lot of things. It seems that I live my life better than others, I receive a lot of love from everyone, my work is stable but I have lost far more than I have. There is a lot of happiness but there is also a lot of sadness and loneliness too. It is hard to judge whether I am happy or not from the surface because there has been no need to disclose my sad to everyone. No good would come from it by showing that and I didn't want anyone to know since it's too personal.
ELLE : You only have one body but you finished so many things at the same time. Where do you get your never-ending energy from?
GD: Probably because I'm very persistent in things I do!
ELLE: Have you always been like that?
GD: I've recently discovered a side of myself that I had never known. I'm originally quite optimistic and positive. Even if I'm too tired and even if the result is not as satisfactory, I would tell myself 'don't worry. You can do better next time!' and than I would pass. Perhaps it's because I hate being serious; I like being able to do things like a free soul. This is the same as music... I guess you could say that I'm very confident about it! I've always firmly believe that I definitely can do it; but that was GD's era. As his name implies, GD is magnificent. People don't expect GD to do things in a limited environment so there was no burden no matter what he did - he can do whatever he want and everyone will like that and accept that kind of GD. However, the real Kwon Jiyong is an introvert. He doesn't know how to think so much and he is very different on and off stage. This is the first time where I appear as Kwon Jiyong to everyone... I believe a lot of people have discovered that the contrast between GD and Kwon Jiyong is immense.
ELLE: After finishing so many things - your solo album, peaceminusone, the first concert in Seoul from your solo tour & the cover photoshoot of ELLE... Have you felt that your mood has relaxed a lot?
GD: After the release of the album, people around me said they felt relieved. But to me, it was like showing a product that I had prepared for a long time to everyone. Things have just begun; my solo world tour has just started - it's an extension of my album. It's not only one single show but it will start again this week! The purpose of this album is to allow everyone to see Kwon Jiyong & not GD, so the pressure is extra heavy.
ELLE: Out of everything that you own, what is something you don't want to lose even as time passes by?
GD: Innocence. You can say that it's my everything. Many of my expressions or creativity are based on it. You can see that innocence is lost and people edge to a certain side from the clothes they wear to the songs they write. However, I don't find them to be content. To be honest, if at this moment you were to ask whether I was happy or not, I cannot truthfully give you an answer and say that I am. But I can say that at least I am very pure.
ELLE: In the new album, there's a song called Outro. The lyrics - "I'm only 30 years old. Is it weird? is it normal?" Is this to express how dissatisfied you are becoming on adult?
GD: I think that artists, especially musicians cannot fully understand things. There's a strong feeling towards this, but I worry that I'm stuck in the 'seems I understand to not understanding to maybe understanding a bit' phase. Up until last year, I still had a simple idea that 'as long as I do well, everything will be okay' though. I could easily accept anything although of course, it meant that I was happy doing my work. But as we reached this year (t/n: he means 2017 because the interview was conducted after his solo concert in Seoul but it wasn't published until Jan 5, 2018), Things to worry about increased and I was so busy that I had no free time and my energy decreased. Back then, it didn't matter how tired I was, my body would automatically wake up like a reflex movement when I heard music. But nowadays, even if I heard music, my body would not bounce up like before. That's when I realized I would be unhappy if one day I was unable to do the things that I liked. What's the point of working so hard until now? I never thought I would worry about these kind of things and so I suddenly became aware that I had to recharge. I stay at home when there are no schedules. I also don't go out and play. Although that may not indicate that i am more sensible, but worrying about things that I had never thought about before is definitely different.
ELLE: Assume that you can predict everything you've experienced so far and then allow you to go back to your past to choose your life again. How would you choose?
GD: If I could predict my future, I would definitely live my life to the fullest. I will allow the original outcome to be better and I will avoid the bad things in life. That would be more simple. On the other hand, not knowing what the future holds is more unsettling! I've seen and heard too many things since the beginning of my mid-20s, so it doesn't make me fuss over the usual matters. If I had to experience something that someone my age experienced, I think my level of concern would be lower than them. To be honest, when I made this solo album, there was a time where I felt trapped. I felt a closeness to the phrase of whether 'was this a dream or a reality'. It was like a movie 'The Truman Show'. I believe this applies to both celebrities and regular people - when there are some things in life where we wonder, 'is this a dream?' or 'how is this possible?' At one point of time, I didn't want to express that kind of feeling in my solo album... but to me, this album is the greatest present to myself. As I said before, when it's time I take another look at this album, I'll think about all the creations I made when I was 30 years old. I made a mark at a point in my life. I hope the main character of this story is not GD but Kwon Jiyong, because it is the first time and I really don't know whether it may be the last time to expose my real character like this. So, I would like to introduce myself for the very first time as Kwon Jiyong.
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